When I was a little girl, I’d look up at the clouds. I’d be worried and searching.. is it this cloud? Is it that one over there? Is that the size of a mans fist? In church I was told that when Jesus comes, everyone would see a small black cloud that gets brighter as it approaches, so I’d be wondering if maybe it’s close enough to match the other clouds, what size of a cloud should I be looking for if it is the size of a mans fist when black, grows larger and brighter as it approaches? This was one of my first death related obsession.
I wasn’t excited for the second coming, I was fearing for my loved ones who weren’t baptized. I was fearing the fire and torture, the rapture and seeing my mother endure that.